


Everything changed, my heart got moved

by nea_writes



Series: Since feeling is first [1]
Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: Alternate Universe - Royalty, Arranged Marriage, Jealousy, Link is just a tad jealous, Linkllen Week 2017, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-30
Updated: 2017-04-30
Packaged: 2018-10-25 15:29:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10767105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nea_writes/pseuds/nea_writes
Summary: Link has faithfully served Crown Prince Allen for years now, but for the first time the prospect of marriage has been brought up. He shouldn't feel as defensive about it as he is, but he only holds the best intentions for Walker's protection in mind... right?





	Everything changed, my heart got moved

**Author's Note:**

> Late, as most everything I write is. Tentative continuation possible? Anyways, my love to Kimmy (hurryup) and Pea (peadles) who I conceived most of the in-universe details with. Besitos <3

Link strode with purpose down the ornate halls, remembering fondly the first time he did so all those years ago. Then, there had been a trembling in his fingers he'd carefully hidden behind his back, shaking in his knees, heart thumping. It would have been the first time he'd meet the prince face to face, instead of watching him from far away. Link had been embarrassingly nervous. 

It was a wonder why. The royal family wasn't a small one, and despite being Crown Prince Allen was still one of the younger princes. As a direct descendant of former king Mana, Allen held claim to the throne once current monarch Neah stepped down.

In reality, Link had been groomed to become captain of the guard, and eventually bodyguard to one of the multitude of royals, but when Allen was discovered again with then missing Mana, Link had quickly been reassigned, closest in age as he had been. He'd tailed Allen for years, and once his training had been completed he'd been promoted to what he now was — retainer and primary guard for Crown Prince Allen.

Allen hadn't taken to the assignment kindly.

The years spent in the gutter showed even through the cleanest of gloves and the richest of fabrics. Allen was rough around the edges and he wasn't afraid to hide it. 

Years had passed now, and Link found himself settled. This, he thought, coming to a sharp stop outside Allen's outer doors, was the rest of his life. He let himself in, nodding at the guards stationed outside them, and closed the double doors behind him. Inside was his lounge, and Link quickly strode past it to his inner chambers, rapping sharply on the intricately gilded doors.

Allen was quick to wake, but Link found Allen had taken to smiling when Link personally woke him. He opened the doors and saw Allen was stirring already. Crossing the room to the curtains, Link pulled them open and turned to regard Allen fully.

Allen sat up in bed, bleary eyed and rumpled from sleep, and gave Link a soft smile. "Good morning, Link."

"Good morning," Link said, words clipped but tone all wrong. Clearing his throat, Link continued, "Lady Road has requested breakfast with you and your father. It's in," a quick glance of his watch, "an hour."

 _"An hour,"_ Allen groaned, flopping back on the bed with his arms spread. "Road is far too much to handle this early, and not to mention with  _my father._ Link, do you want me to perish?"

"Certainly not," Link said dryly, making for Allen's clothes already set out by the maids. It had taken several months and many talks before Allen's previous retainer had allowed Allen his simpler wardrobe, and Link had mistakenly tried to resolve it when he'd assumed the role. That had been the first taste of Allen's formative years rearing in one of their arguments. "It is not just for breakfast — your father said he has something to discuss with you."

"Something to discuss?" Said Allen, whose voice sounded faint, facing the ceiling instead of Link. "That could mean anything. He could demand a trip into town. He could ask for a duel with my cousins. He could request I spend the afternoon with him. My father's word could mean many a thing — did he specify what, exactly, he wanted to discuss?"

"He did not share his thoughts with me," Link said after a pause, carefully forming the words. Allen was not as picky about manners and decorum as the royals were, but Link had seen one too many servants slip and punished severely. It was a blessing, Link thought quietly, that Allen was heir to the throne.

"Not surprising," Allen said, a wry twist to his words, but overall fond. There was very little Mana could do that Allen would disapprove of. "He shares them with no one but Neah!"

Jealousy, Link thought with amusement, was a running gag in this royal family. They were all sorts of jealous. It was a good thing they all regarded each other just as fondly. Clearing his throat, Link gestured towards Allen's clothes, cocking his brow when Allen finally rose onto his elbows. "Delay anymore and you'll be late. While your father might not mind, your cousin certainly will." 

Allen faked a shudder and laughed, before piercing Link with a heated look. "Dress me, then."

Scandalized and far too tempted, Link carefully folded his arms behind his back, pinning Allen with a reproachful look. "If I did, you would definitely not be on time."

Allen really laughed then, swinging his legs over the bed and sauntering towards Link with the careless grace he'd been born into. "Too bad," Allen said, brushing past Link to grab his clothes. "I had a dream I really would've liked to have continued."

Flushing hot, Link said, "I'll be waiting outside," and promptly let himself out, Allen's laughter on his heels.

This, Link reflected, was a bit of a problem.

It'd started after too many drinks in one of Lord Mikk's many balls and had stumbled into many a hidden alcove, where Allen had explored all of Link that he could, murmuring between heated kissed against Link's neck that  _God, God, I can't stop thinking of this, of you._

Link had resigned himself to a one time drunken escapade. Allen, on the other hand, thought he'd found a new companion and toy in Link.

Perhaps that was a little unkind, Link mused, staring at the brocade in a sofa. Allen truly was sweet in his affections, and he never treated Link as something disposable. As far as Link knew, he was the only one to know the taste of Allen's mouth, to have memorized the dip of Allen's back, the arch of his spine, the shape of his lips. 

Flexing his hands, Link started when the door opened behind him. Allen emerged, flawlessly put together except for his forever wayward hair. Link clicked his tongue, but only followed as Allen finally left his rooms.

They made their way to the informal dining room Mana preferred, and Mana himself opened the door, drawing Allen into a over-joyous hug as if it had been years since he'd seen Allen last and not just the day before.

After announcing this was strictly family time, Link only blinked when the door was shut in his face. This was not the first time Mana had banned guards and servants alike. Whatever had happened to Mana was still kept tightly under wraps, with the only revealing bit being that he was unfit to lead the kingdom, but his paranoia and fear surfaced occasionally, until no one but family could be kept around Mana.

Link didn't take any offense and instead instated himself in a room nearby, leaving orders with a maid to find him once Allen emerged.

Less than two hours later Mana released Allen with promises of lunch, and Road hugged Allen tightly round the neck, whispered something into his ear, and then bounced off delightedly. Of all the royals, she and her father, Sheryl, scared Link the most. 

Road's exuberant affection was not unusual, but the horrifically pale shade of Allen's face was. Dread gathering in Link's stomach like a heavy stone, he disregarded the itinerary and lead Allen aside, ordering the maids from the nearby room. Closing the door, Link pulled Allen up, facing him head on. Allen refused to meet his gaze, something bitter in the way he stared at the floor.

"What's wrong?" Link whispered, remembering belatedly that Allen was royal, and royalty were not meant to be manhandled. Link forced his hands away, not quite able to fold his arms back but leaving them hanging uselessly at his sides. "Is... has something gone wrong?"

Allen took a deep breath, looked up, and met Link's eyes, and everything vanished. The worry, the fear, the panic that had been looming on the horizon — Allen's eyes were alarmingly bare.

"Yes," Allen said, voice measured, words carefully chosen. "Yes, everything's just fine. Where am I required next?"

Link's mouth snapped shut, and like lightning the realization seared him clean through. Allen was the Crown Prince and Link was his bodyguard. He was not meant to know royal secrets or care for the royal body beyond its safekeeping.

He stepped back, one more, and another, until a respectable distance remained between them. 

Despite brusquely brushing Link off then, the rest of the day passed as normal. Allen sparred with his cousins, had a garden lunch with his father, tea with his uncle, piano lessons, regular academic lessons, made a quick trip into town to purchase a spontaneous gift, and dined with most of the family in the evening. 

The night, Allen did not let Link leave until the new day approached, and then Link took a long moment to make sure not a single mark Allen left showed outside his clothes. 

* * *

 

Link did not discover what that meeting was about until he stepped into Allen's rooms one morning several weeks later and found Lord Mikk already lounging there.

There were multiple reasons to be alarmed at this, one being Tyki rarely was awake this early and the other being Link had never, in all his years of service, ever found Tyki in Allen's rooms unannounced at this hour.

Alarmed, Link was tense enough to snap when Tyki looked up, stretched on the chairs languidly. He waved his hand in the air as if he was parting thick syrup, and offered a smile. "You won't be needed today. Allen will be with us until evening."

There was little Link could do in the face of a royal order. Bowing his head, Link glanced at Allen's bedroom doors. He waited, just one moment. Just a second. To see if Allen would come out.

He didn't.

* * *

 

Link wasn't called on until the evening, as Tyki had promised. Link found Allen in his rooms, and when Link entered Allen tersely ordered, "Lock the doors."

Startled, Link complied, coming closer to stand at the sofa Allen sat in. Allen was holding a drink of something, sharp and stinging in the air where Link sniffed, but he made no move to drink, simply sitting with his elbows on his knees. The curtains of the large floor to ceiling windows were drawn back, but the night was so dark that all Link saw was his own reflection standing pensively at attention.

"Link."

Link turned red. He didn't even know why. Allen's voice was rough, low, like it sounded late at night, and Link wished he could turn away. 

"Do you remember when Mana asked for me at breakfast?"

Weeks had passed and Mana had request Allen's presence many times since, but Link knew which event he was referring to. He nodded, faith lost in his voice, where it remained caught in his throat.

"Mana always has something to discuss," Allen said, still fond. "This time was no different. You know," he abruptly leaned back, roughly enough that Link worried he'd spill his drink. It occurred to him that Allen might already be drunk. "I forgot what being a prince was. All I remembered were faces. Then I was abandoned in the streets with Mana. It was difficult to adjust when they found us."

If Link didn't know better, he'd suggest Allen was bitter about it all. About being found.

"Then, all I worried about was finding food. Food and a roof. No one wanted a mangled child and doddering old man." Allen smiled, self-deprecating, and Link wished he could say something, anything. 

"Now, I'm heir to the throne!" Allen laughed, and laughed. He drew his blood-red hand down his face, obscuring the scar Link still did not know the origin of. Link had suspicions on who had given Allen that scar, but he'd never voiced them. "I'm heir to the throne, and what does every good king need?"

Oh.

If Link thought he couldn’t speak before, he didn't know what being voiceless truly meant. His throat closed, his heart seized. 

Allen dropped his hand, finally looked at him, and he laughed again. "You look so stricken."

He set his cup down on the low table, swinging to a full stand. Link remained still, not even caring to step away when Allen grew too close. 

"I'm engaged," Allen said, smiling. "And they're coming tomorrow."

Allen stepped close enough that Link could feel his breath on his cheek, and still, he didn't move, even as Allen's hands wound around his waist, his back, bringing Link flush against him.

"So for tonight, stay with me?"

Link didn't have to say anything. He cupped Allen's face and drew him into a kiss, and thought  _never, never, never._

_I can't. Not for just one night._

Allen was a prince and Link was just a servant. Inevitably, it was going to end.

* * *

 

Link left Allen's rooms once Allen pretended to fall asleep, and all Link did was retreat to his own and sit pensively, staring blankly out the window. On his desk lay open the extensive journal he kept of Allen. What he ate, when, who he talked to, what he did — all to ensure his safety, to catalog all that happened in case questions arose later. The book had laid open since Link had returned, ready to pen in the newest event.

Link couldn't.

He couldn't stand to write the words, couldn't even bear to contemplate what they meant.

Link had been the only one. He'd been the only to know. The shape of Allen's lips, the taste of his tongue, the arch of his spine, the dip of his back, the way his muscles flexed when Link's fingers danced over them, his voice when Link sucked bruises into his flesh.

But, that wasn't so anymore.

Soon, there'd be someone else. Someone else's hands on Allen, their tongue, their voice, their touch, their wandering gaze. Link would be forced to wait outside their bedroom door for the rest of his life, every night, until they slept. He would hear every sound, every whisper, and every promise.

The mere thought was unbearable. 

It was too late, Link thought with horror. Too late to back out. He should have never even laid eyes on Allen, let alone have touched him.

* * *

 

Allen's fiancé arrived with much less splendor than Link had expected.

Despite staying awake the entire night, both Link and Allen dressed in their best to greet them. Link was almost sure the reason he didn't know a single thing was because Allen had kept it from him.

He immediately stomped down on that thought. Link had no right to expect anything from Allen.

Link stood against the walls with the rest of the guards as the entire grand hall stood at attention. Neah sat in the lone chair, Mana carefully hidden in a corner of the palace, and the rest of the family gathered on the stairs, Allen in standing to Neah's right and Tyki to his left. All of the court was there, the season in full swing, and a four string quartet played quietly. 

There was the procession of guards, nobles, and finally, striding down the middle of the entire room and dressed to the nines, was Allen's fiancé.

Link felt bitterly nauseous as Allen stepped down, bowed before his fiancé, and kissed his hand. From far against the wall, all Link could make out was dark hair and sharp features.

 Not once did Allen ever look at him.

* * *

 

Link was relieved of his ball duties when Allen was finally required to tour the empty gardens with his fiancé. Link followed at a discreet pace, hidden, but much closer. Their voices raised frequently, and despite feeling guilty Link was still relieved Allen was not getting alone with his partner. 

Lost in his thoughts, Link trailed too close and he picked up on the thread of their argument.

"They found  _the_ most reprehensible, insufferable, annoying, aggravating, horrible git they could  _possibly_ find!"

Link had never heard Allen so vehement. Even though all there was in Allen's voice was disgust and irritation, Link's heart fell to the soles of his feet. Passion, no matter the kind, held promise. 

"If I wasn't held to contract and forced into this engagement I would throttle you!" Allen's fiancé held a surprisingly deep voice. "God, maybe I shouldn't have worried after all. I'll be dead of aggravation in a few years' time!"

_"Good!"_

"Fuck off!"

"God, I will! Anything at all is better than another moment with you!"

Link did not scramble back quickly enough to avoid Allen's rapid retreat. Allen pulled up short when he rounded the garden path, face flushed and eyes bright with anger, silver lightning. In his irritation, his words came out sharper than Link was sure Allen intended. "Link," he said, voice cutting. "What are you doing here?"

Link licked his lips and glanced where Allen had come from, but his fiancé didn't seem keen on continuing the conversation. "I was meant to watch you two."

Surrounding by blooming flowers heavy with heat, their perfume intoxicating in the air, Link despaired. Allen was becoming increasingly distracting. 

Clearly frustrated, Allen wrangled at his collar, loosening his tie and removing the buttons pinning the fabric closed. He sighed, tilting his head back and shoulders falling lax.

"Did you hear that? Of course you did. We were yelling loud enough to announce the state of affairs! I can't possibly imagine spending the rest of my life with him, insufferable, horrible, wretched,  _annoying—"_

 _Not another word,_ Link thought.  _Not another word about him._

He grasped Allen hard around his waist, jerking him close, hands snaking up to cradle his face, and he kissed Allen.

Kissed him, like it might be the last time.

Allen's lips parted and Link slid his tongue along his teeth, inside his mouth, sweeping up every single word and swallowing it, taking them from Allen's breath, his thoughts, his very being, because Link could not endure even another hint from Allen about that man.

Greedily, he devoured Allen whole, and he didn't realize Allen was struggling until Allen fisted his collar and shoved him away, sending Link stumbling backwards.

"Link!" Allen gasped, eyes wide, cheeks flushed and mouth red, debauched entirely by Link. Link staggered upright from the force of Allen's push, bringing the back of his hand up to drag at his wet lips. "Link, God, what on earth—"

"I can't!" Link burst, reaching forward desperately to grab at Allen's hand. Bolstered when Allen did not move away, Link shook his head, pleading. "I can't, I can't do it."

"Can't do what?" Allen asked stiffly.

Ashamed, Link looked at their hands, gloved, never quite touching skin to skin. That, of everything, hurt. "I can't let you go."

Link thought Allen would push him away. He was in every right to. Allen could call for Link's murder and even if it weren't perfectly legal, the royal family loved Allen enough to grant his every wish. He thought Allen would, if not detain him, punish him, demote him, send him to some far off villa to guard and to never see Allen again.

Instead, Allen pulled Link closer and kissed him again.

"God," Allen breathed, lips pressed against Link's. His eyes were closed, pale, pale lashes, layered over his scar. "God, I never thought. I never assumed. I thought you wouldn't care." 

"I did," Link said, tracing kisses down the column of Allen's throat, tasting sweat, the sharpness of his cologne, the lingering scent of someone else. "I cared far too much."

“For as long as I can,” Allen promised. “Longer, even.”

This wouldn't last. Link knew it wouldn't.

But they had tonight. They had all the moments Link could possibly steal, until not a single one was left. 


End file.
